This is a question sent in by anonymous on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:

My Answer:

I love your question!!  Ok, let me take a crack at answering.  Why accountability partners or whatever anyone calls them.  I think the one thing that I would say is that relationships are valuable in the Kingdom and government of God.  He puts so much value on Godly relationship in the Word of God I could give you verse after verse.  The biggest problem I see with people is based out of Pr 18:19 - “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.”  When you, like you said, have been offended by other “church people” you begin to build up walls and swear that you will never be hurt like that again.  The problem is you think you are protecting yourself but you are actually putting prison bars around yourself.  You never should put your trust in man because they will always hurt you.  Trust and relationship is something you give to people and something that is very difficult and hard to work through but can never get around how scripture tells us to have them.  I would say first off that when you are accountable to someone this is not just friend relationship this is a leadership relationship and someone you respect and someone who you will listen to.  

You can not have these kinds of relationships and not be protected from being hurt.  You will be hurt, you will be failed. (But you will also do those things to them).  Only those who rely on the love of Christ and are empowered by His spirit can build biblical relationships because you have to be walking in humility, forgiveness, and repentance.  I know that you just started in the church, I get that you have been hurt in the past, and I know that you are just wanting to feel things out.  Take time and feel things out but at Life Connection we try and focus on relationship and being the church as defined in scripture.  So you will be challenged and have people try to get to know you and be open with.  So I pray that your heart is to build relationship and that it is not as rare as you think if it is done in the spirit level and not at a flesh level.  This may not answer your question because I do not have a 12 step to build relationship but I do know that God values relationship.  

This will also help those who do not understand why we focus on what we call discipleship.  It is purely relationship!!! Our whole goal is people not going to church but being the church in loving Christ centered community.

Thanks for the question!!

I can not wait for this new book by Mark Driscoll to come out.  I love how Mark can take vintage doctrine and make it come to life without compromise.  Check it out!

This is a question sent in by anonymous on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:

Why is it ok to drink, and not ok to smoke marijuana. Lets hypothetically say its legal, would it be ok to smoke marijuana in moderation?

My answer:

I hate answering these kinds of questions because I can already tell it is going to cause a posting frenzy.

To begin with, Christians are under a biblical mandate to respect and obey the laws of the land (Deuteronomy 17:2; Ecclesiastes 8:2-5; Matthew 22:21; 23:2-3; Romans 13:1-7; Titus 3:1; 1 Peter 2:13-17; 2 Peter 2:9-11).  Contrary to popular belief, simply disagreeing with a law does not constitute a license for breaking that law.  I know you said “hypothetically it was legal” so I will try and approach it from another angle, but in our country this is a good enough reason.  

Scripture does not mention marijuana or any illicit drug, so to say “thou shall not” will not work unless you are looking at the spirit of scripture.  Illicit drug use is an extremely effective way to destroy your health, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.  There is nothing in alcohol that has health risk on your body if done in moderation.  With any drug or even smoking there are health risks.  Most doctors or experts  would say that smoking any sort of drug or cigarette is a health risk for your body or your mind.  So I would think you would be violating scripture if no matter how much you smoke you are effecting your mind and your body. 

Here is my problem with putting illicit drugs on the same level as alcohol.  I have never met anyone who does not use marijuana as an escape… I do not know someone who smokes marijuana or any illicit drug and does not get high and their mind is not altered.  So in your attempt to justify something just make sure that you understand the level of addiction both mentally and physically.  I do understand that alcohol and food can be an addiction for people and they can be unhealthy if not consumed in moderation but what is moderation for marijuana?  I would say there is no moderation because even the slightest amount effects your health and sobriety.

You can all have  fun with this!  The battle for balance is a constant war, make sure you stay focused on the cross.

This is a question sent in by anonymous on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:

Hey Pastor! I was wondering in group prayers why is it better to stand? im not really well versed on this subject…

My Answer:

It is not better to stand.  I stand personally most of the time because I focus better.  If I am sitting and relaxing my mind begins to get lazy and my body gets sleepy.  So for me, personally, I stand most of the time I pray.  But when I am in my prayer closet I write or speak my prayers, most of the time, so that I can keep my mind focused. Good question, but I mostly try and stay obedient and just posture myself the way He says, through the Spirit.  Sometime He tells me chill out and kneel. So in your prayer life do not just speak, listen.  In corporate prayer, I believe in unity and agreement.  I believe that people who stand together, kneel together, sing together, or whatever are practicing unity and order.  So this is the best I can do for this answer.  It is not better it is personal for me.  I hope that corporate prayer is not our only prayer life but corporate prayer is important.

This is a question sent in by Alyssa Marie Williams on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:

My Answer:

Thank you for checking every day… I am so glad you are!  I wanted to answer this just so everyone would know the routine.  I have a lot of questions, way more then I expected.  I am glad you all are sending such great questions, I have a folder full.  I have already had to sift through and pick ones that I think people will enjoy or ones that are personal to that person.  I do not want to make anyone think that I can fix their problems by a blog post.  I also take quite some time to write these and try to think through my responses.  I wish I could do them faster but I also have a family, church, ministry, and life.  So please keep on checking but extend a little grace if I do not get them answered fast enough or do not get to your question.  I am trying to put out 3 or 4 a week.  So keep sending them and keep checking everyday.  This is fun!!! Thanks guys.

My Answer:

Sexual immorality is defined clearly in scripture if you look to the greek word porneia and not the english dictionary.  The term was used frequently in Judeo-Christian literature to refer to premarital or extramarital intercourse.  Sexual immorality (poneia) is defined as any extra marital sexual arousal.  It seems to me you are wanting God to bless your sex as long as you think it is a meaningful relationship.  God defines a meaningful relationship and that is the covenant relationship of marriage.  You do not get the leisure in your lust to define whether or not sex is immoral or meaningful, you will always say it is meaningful because you want to have sex.

If you love God and want to obey all His commands then you will not try and define sex or relationships outside of the protective, loving, boundaries of scripture.  I would suggest that you listen to my series, “Summer Sex Talk.” I pray that you are not looking to the world or your lust to define sex and relationship.  The only one that has the right to define sex and relationship is the one that created it, GOD!

This is a question sent in by Ronni on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:

Can people be born homosexual? Meaning they are born with a predisposition towards it because of a family curse or stronghold?

My Answer:

In order to answer this question we need to forget the Idea of being born homosexual.  Homosexuallity is sin.  If we establish that Scripture says that homosexuality is sin, then we can establish that we are born sinners.  I know that there is doctrine that teaches people are born good and that we become sinners at the first act of rebellion.  I am boldly reformed in my doctrine, and I believe that Scripture teaches that through Adam, sin entered the world (Romans 5:12–”Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned.”)  R.C. Sproul very clearly explains one of the very important truths that original sin teaches us: “We are not sinners because we sin. We sin because we are sinners.”  People do not come into this world good and then get a sinful nature upon their first willful sin that they commit. Rather, we come into the world with a sin nature, and all of our sins are a result of having that sin nature. We act according to our natures. So because of our sin nature, we do sinful actions. A cow does not become a cow by mooing, but moos because he is a cow. Likewise we do not become sinners because we sin, but we sin because we are sinners. 

Because of that core belief, I believe that in a sense, it could be considered that people are born homosexual.  But not only that–they are born sinners. Ephesians 2:3 says that we are “by nature children of wrath.”  Homosexuality is not the only sin people are born with, but yeah, they are born homosexual because they are born sinners.  The good news is that as through one man sin entered the world, the same is true on the positive side!  The man Jesus Christ died, and through one man grace and salvation entered the world and righteousness is imputed upon those who are “born again.”  The issue is not “Are we born homosexual?”   It is “Are you born again?”  If we are born again, we are not going to live according to what our flesh was born to do.  We are going to return to what we were created to do.  We were not created homosexual, just as we were not created sinners.  Homosexuality is not something people were created for in God’s original plan. 

A lot of time when people are saying,  ”I was born this way,” they are speaking truth, but they are meaning that they were ‘created’ this way, which is a lie.  Just because you were born a homosexual does not mean that God created you that way origanally.  Now through Christ, He is returning us to not our born state, but our created state.

Have fun commenting and try and be nice to each other.

This is a question sent in on the Ask Aaron Anything link:

Is it bad to ask a lot from God? EX: God I need you to show up in my life…I need you to show me my next step

My Answer:

I believe that we need to rely on God for everything.  Throughout all your asking, be sure to spend time listening, and when He shows you an answer make sure to respond to his word (through the power of his spirit).  We tend to ask God to do everything for us and we walk away from our prayer time thinking, “if God wants this done then He will do it himself”.  This is important to know;  those who do things without asking God and listening to Him are religious and those who listen yet do not do what he says are rebellious.  When we hear his word we need to rely on his spirit to accomplish His work in EVERY area of our lives.  

You are not burdening God by asking much of him.  He tells us to pray without ceasing and to acknowledge him in all of your ways.  Keep in mind that prayer is not a monolog, but that it is a dialog in which God loves providing you with answers to your questions.  Make sure that every time you ask you also take the time to listen.  

Matthew 7 talks about how much the Father loves it when you ask because He loves to give.  I believe that God loves to be your source for everything.  As a father I consider it a joy when my kids ask me for help and wisdom. How much more does your heavenly father love it when we ask of him for anything? Thanks for the question.

Anyone else want to take a crack at giving some thoughts please do.

I have recently been inspired to interview other church planters and leaders about what they have shared with me about what they are doing and what they see in the American church. The inspiration of these interviews is based on the conversations that I get to have with many leaders through their process of growth behind closed doors. I want to invite you to be a fly on this virtual wall while I talk to them, behind those closed doors, about what is happening in their life and mind.

Matthew Hansen is a friend that I met in bible school some 10 years ago. We never where extremely close in school, but socialized a little (the truth is, he was apart of the sexy crowd). In recent times we have connected because of a commonality, or more of a like spirit, which is church planting and discipleship. He is extremely intelligent, balanced, and very in love with Jesus and His mission (I am not trying to hit on him!! I am in love with my wife). When you are reading the answers to these questions some of you may be thinking I answered them but I promise it was him. I pray that you will be blessed, as I was, and that it will encourage you to be focused and fervent in your relationship with Jesus. Take a minute after you read through His interview and check out his church web page and blog spot. I would also encourage you to pray about giving some financial support to this very important mission field, for all the information you need on how to get involved check out this link. Enjoy the interview!

Hey Matthew, take a minute and Briefly sum up yourself:

I am your average person who happens to be ignited with a deep love for Jesus, a vision and passion for church planting through discipleship, and a broken heart for men. I am going on 9 years of marriage, and can I say, there isn’t anything that I love more after Christ. I met Sarah on a mission trip to Morocco. Sarah and I have 3 kids – Serena, Ashton, and Eden, and are hoping to have number 4 next year. As for my hobbies, I love physical-fitness, I practice Brazilian jiu jitsu, and love to clear my head with a good run. I’m a reading freak, I’ll read anywhere between 30-40 books in a year, but nothing beats time with Sarah and the kids.

In the UFC, who is your favorite fighter?

That is a tuff question, since the question has the UFC in it. Although as of right now my favorite organization in MMA is the UFC, my favorite fighters have left – Randy Couture, Andre Arlovski, and Tito. Your best fighters in the UFC are BJ Penn, GSP, and Anderson Silvia. I love to watch Forrest Griffin and Rich Franklin, but as for my favorite – either BJ Penn and George St. Pierre or John Fitch

Mac or PC? I have three Mac’s and no PC – end of story

How did the vision for church planting begin to burn in you?

It definitely was an evolution of the soul. From the planting of a seed, to the forming of a small group was a span of over ten years. Sitting in a café in Moscow at the age of seventeen, I recognized God’s call on my life in Proverbs 31:8-9: Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. Until that time, the Bible hadn’t really spoken to me, but this time it so captured my attention that I knew it was God speaking to me through his word.

My life would take some dramatic turns that found my family in Austin, Texas and then on to missions training at Christ for the Nations in Dallas. In 1995 I met my future wife, Sarah, on a mission trip in Morocco. We were married in November 1999. From the beginning of our relationship, Sarah and I both knew God’s desire for our lives was vocational ministry. But just one year in our marriage, we were expecting our first child and had no more a picture of what our ministry was to be than when we started. With those immediate circumstances, our choices were quickly narrowed and I took a secular position in finance for the next four years. God continued to challenge and grow us through those years, as the experiences gained in leadership and through relationships were some of the most invaluable experiences to date. God began to give us a new heart for the church, but our heart for missions remained.

After much prayer God began to show us that the church can serve as a missionary in any culture to those who don’t know Christ. The church can “speak up for those who could not speak for themselves” because spiritually, they are lost. The church can “speak out for the rights of all who are destitute” and “defend the rights of the poor and needy” just as Jesus did.

What is the culture of the city you are planting in?

Austin is extremely pluralistic and diverse, we are often compared with Seattle and Boston in that we have Northwestern/eastern liberalism, pluralism, and intellect, with southern hospitality. That being said, our city motto is “Keep Austin Weird,” which comes from encouraging people to be very expressive in their uniqueness. I mean what other city do you know of that a cross-dressing homeless man can run for mayor and not only make it on the ballot, but also give his opponent a run for his money. South Austin, more specifically, zip code 78748, is the fastest growing zip code in all of Austin and its surrounding areas and is also very morally, politically and socially liberal. However our most interesting find is that south Austin has been labeled ‘the church planters graveyard.’

Why Austin?

Jesus said he came for the sick, not the healthy. That he would leave the ninety-nine to save the one. Throughout the scriptures, you find Jesus going to the most unlikely of people to share the hope and truth of his gospel. We are being sent as missionaries to a community for whom Jesus died and a people that he is broken for.

What stage of church planting are you at in Emmaus?

To be black and white about this, we are in the fundraising stage. We are a ground-zero church, meaning since we live in an area in which the average person sees no reason for church or God at all, we can’t rely on them for money or resources. So in order for this to work, we are in the process of building a network of relationships with people who buy into the vision and see the need for what we are doing. When Sarah and I first got married, I always thought of being a missionary as packing your bags, heading to a country in which you can’t speak the language, and going from there. I never thought of being a missionary as walking out your front door, waving to the Hindu couple on one side, and the homosexual couple on the other, speaking English, and living in America. But this is the reality of Austin, so I like to look at this as a missionary endeavor that a church will evolve out of, rather than a church plant that does missions

Can you talk about what you biblically see discipleship to be and how are you practically living that out in Emmaus?

If we truly believe we learn by example then we have to ask, “who was the best discipler in history?” The answer—Jesus!. Here’s what we know Jesus did, he lived life-on-life with people. He used real life situations to draw out his disciples inner issues, and then revealed his ideas, plan, or way through those real life situations (John 6:5-15 and Matthew 15:21-31). When you do life-on-life, it gets messy, you as the lead must be transparent and real, you have to walk the journey with people versus setting in the stands and cheering them on, and you have to be willing to get into people’s junk. Not only is this hard but it has been ingrained into Pastors that if we get the same results Jesus did (John 6:60-71) then we did something wrong! I’ll quit there, I could get angry. However to get a good picture of discipleship read chapter 4 and 8 of the Forgotten Ways, by Alan Hirsch.

How do we live this out in a practically in Emmaus? We have three focal points: Communion with God (1 John 1:3), and this is about taking personal responsibility for own personal relationship with Jesus through prayer, Bible study, meditation, and worship. Second is, community with each other (James 3:18), we believe community is actively building truly transparent and accountable relationships with other Christ followers in Emmaus as we join together on mission for one common-unity. Then finally, conversation with humanity (Colossians 4:6), which is intentionally engaging your lost friends in relationship so that you may have the opportunity to articulate and activate the gospel in their lives. We say, when you are living in all three, it is then that you are truly engaged in being a disciple and discipling. To get a perfect vision of Emmaus read The Tangible Kingdom – You’ll love it.

What’s been the most frustrating aspects of starting a church?

Hands down – support. You’d be amazed at how many pastors in Austin have patted me on the back and said, “WoW-South Austin, You’re brave!” Part of me wants to set them down, and say “if you understand that this place is so resistant to the gospel, and you really believe that Christ came to seek and save that which is lost, can we partner together, because you know it takes money.” Honestly for me that’s it, I love tension, I love suspense, and I love the journey.

What is the biggest problem you see in the American Church?

Jesus is seen as a whore! I know that isn’t very pc, and there isn’t a church that would say that, but if Jesus is the whore I sleep with to get my greatest desires fulfilled – prosperity, health, healing, the perfect mate, the American dream, etc – then pastors are no more than pimps selling Jesus to bring in the crowd so they can make more money…After all Jesus shouldn’t be that hard to sell, who doesn’t want the perfect one-night stand? On more mild terms, Jesus seems to be the road map to desire, rather than being the actual desire, the actual fullness of all truth and of everything good.

I was reading your blog and you wrote, “The church is a sending agent, not a shopping mall enticing the lost with its sales people to come buy the goods—period!” I love this, can you take a paragraph or two and elaborate?

I basically summed up the last half of this quote in the above question. But to define the church as a sending agent, I would have to say, I long to see an Ephesians 4 church, verses a church ran by CEO’s, managers, bosses, salesmen, and customers. The church, on an institutional level, is an equipping organization. We gather to be equipped and trained and edified and rebuked, and then are sent out to be ‘fishers-of-men.’ Even though I live in an urban area, and do not fish, nor do I know many fishermen, this analogy is still very, very plain – very little training on how to be a fisherman is done in a classroom. Often times a seasoned fisherman will verbally give you the basics, but to really train a person to be a fisherman, you have to send them out to the rivers, the lakes, the ponds, and the oceans, where the fish are living, there is no way around it. I don’t know when it became so sexy to see who can gather the most self-indulged Christians or the most Christians who are afraid of the world, and then compare who has the highest attendance, as if that is some sort of an achievement.

What would you speak to the elders and the community that would help us in the vision to multiply disciples?

First of all, congratulations, you have chosen the best yet hardest way to do church. I don’t know the elders, so I can’t pick on you all – HA – but here is what I would say, at some point you all, us, everyone who is focused on discipleship will be tempted to move over to being a salesman. Don’t do it! No matter the cost, don’t do it. I believe the only way to keep from this, is to make sure that your personal relationship with Christ is always top priority in your life – period – above your wife, your children, and the church. And secondly, keep yourselves surrounded by people who will keep you in check.

This is a question sent in on the Ask Aaron Anything link by a writer titled Confused:

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE THE MOST HAS CHEATED ON YOU? I KNOW THAT IN THE BIBLE IT SAYS THAT IF SOMEONE COMMITS ADULTRY THAT IS THE ONLY BIBLICAL REASON FOR DIVORCE. BUT I AM BEING TOLD TO STAND AND FIGHT FOR MY MARIAGE. I AM TRYING, BUT I STILL HAVE SO MUCH ANGER AND HATRED TOWARDS HIM. HOW DO I TRUELY FORGIVE? SO WE CAN GET PAST THIS. I’M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

My response:

Confused, although I do not know who you are, I care more about you then to think that me posting a blog about forgiveness, will cause you to be no longer confused.  I do believe in the power of forgiveness and the necessity for every believer to extend forgiveness to all who have sinned against them. There are to many variables to this story and I would really challenge you to connect with some Godly, loving, praying people who will stand with you, point you to the word, and cover you in prayer.  All that I can say is, I am praying for you (I also call all of the readers to pray) and I believe God is with you, although you feel alone.  If you go to lifeconnectionchurch.net, please let us know,  we will surround you and do all we can to sift through the mess that has been caused by sin.  May your heart be healed, your mind at peace, and God be glorified.