This is a question sent in by anonymous on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:
My Answer:
I love your question!! Ok, let me take a crack at answering. Why accountability partners or whatever anyone calls them. I think the one thing that I would say is that relationships are valuable in the Kingdom and government of God. He puts so much value on Godly relationship in the Word of God I could give you verse after verse. The biggest problem I see with people is based out of Pr 18:19 - “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.” When you, like you said, have been offended by other “church people” you begin to build up walls and swear that you will never be hurt like that again. The problem is you think you are protecting yourself but you are actually putting prison bars around yourself. You never should put your trust in man because they will always hurt you. Trust and relationship is something you give to people and something that is very difficult and hard to work through but can never get around how scripture tells us to have them. I would say first off that when you are accountable to someone this is not just friend relationship this is a leadership relationship and someone you respect and someone who you will listen to.
You can not have these kinds of relationships and not be protected from being hurt. You will be hurt, you will be failed. (But you will also do those things to them). Only those who rely on the love of Christ and are empowered by His spirit can build biblical relationships because you have to be walking in humility, forgiveness, and repentance. I know that you just started in the church, I get that you have been hurt in the past, and I know that you are just wanting to feel things out. Take time and feel things out but at Life Connection we try and focus on relationship and being the church as defined in scripture. So you will be challenged and have people try to get to know you and be open with. So I pray that your heart is to build relationship and that it is not as rare as you think if it is done in the spirit level and not at a flesh level. This may not answer your question because I do not have a 12 step to build relationship but I do know that God values relationship.
This will also help those who do not understand why we focus on what we call discipleship. It is purely relationship!!! Our whole goal is people not going to church but being the church in loving Christ centered community.
Thanks for the question!!
Thanks Aaron, the answer helped. And I understand it’s more relational. I think that’s the stumbling block in itself. After having gone thru a greta deal of UNBELIEVABLE trials in my life, it’s harder to just relate to people as they almost always try and fix things instead of just being friends, listening and praying together. They mean well, but… their hearts run a muck.
Thanks Janey… I am blessed to see all the relationships you are building in the church… You are doing it.
Well said.