RSS SubscribeThis is a question sent in by Lauren on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:
My Answer:
LOL!!!! Lauren, my stomach is hurting; I was laughing so hard when I read this. You need a man, girl!! A real man!! I love this question so much, I could preach on this thing forever. There are so many reasons that 80% of the church is woman and the other 20% are feminine men. I am going to narrow it down to a few major reasons that I see…
(1) Lack of fathering in our nation and in the church. Men need fathers (spirtual and physical). 1Co 4:15 -”For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” We have a lot of boy teachers, as some translations say, but not many fathers.
(2) Too many churches have given leadership and headship in the church to the women; we talk about wanting men but then when they come in we call them sexist pigs if they desire headship. God created men for headship in the family and in the church. We have to refuse to call every man a sexist if they preach headship in the home and in the house of God.
(3) We have to get a clearer revelation of Jesus. He was not a hippie who just preached love, peace, and encouragement. He was a man… a carpenter, a leader, he got angry, he loved his bride the church so much that He would die for them. He discipled men! He is a man’s man.
(4) We have to stop calling things that men love to do sin if it is not sin. If it is sin call it sin, if it is not sin then just say you do not understand how a man could love a good debate, competition, war, and the list could go on…
Ok that is enough for me anyone else?
September 16th, 2008 at 2:30 am
Men need to be challenged or dared to lead. Nothing we love more than a challenge. Tell us what is broken and let us fix it.
But get out of the way and let us do it.
September 16th, 2008 at 6:43 am
Andy,
Great point! We need to challenge men not just affirm them.
September 16th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Lauren-
The reason is The same reason there’s a gap between so many girls who never grow up and actual women.
To answer your question, I think your concern is not limited to church, most men period are overly sensitive/emotional. You probably just see men in church as being overemotional because during the church service for 2 hours, aren’t we all there to be a little emotional and to open up the sensitive side of ourselves to learn and connect with God most the time? There’s not a time and place, or need to take risks or achieve more than the guy next to you during the sermon on a Sunday ya know?
I’ve been wondering the same question you ask (but for women of course) for a long time myself. And I think it comes down to people who have gut level attractive qualities and confidence, their own style, etc, but who also listen, are humble, have a good heart, and desire to live a life with the Lord is just damned hard to find in this world anymore
SOME of us men, find it just as hard to find what we’re looking for too, don’t worry
We just have to never give up, no matter how hard or how long. I believe its out there.
P.S. Pastor, excuse my french, but that is ******* AWESOME to hear a PASTOR say what you did. Its nice to see a Pastor who’s a MAN for a change, unlike many another organizations I’ve been to. I couldn’t agree with you more.
September 17th, 2008 at 6:22 am
Drew,
Thanks a ***** bunch. lol not everyone feels the way you do…. but thanks it is nice to have one. LOL
September 18th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
PA,
Did my pastor just say I needed a man? That’s embarrassing! =) What you said makes complete since though. There is a huge lack of fathering in this generation and working in CPS I see the impact that has on children everyday. And honestly, a lot of the fathers I see aren’t fathering because they were never fathered themselves.
Thank God for a church that has godly men rising up as leaders, because it totally sets order in the church. I would like to believe that women in churches would be willing to get under Godly headship if it were available, but I know how society cries out that submission is oppression when it’s really the opposite. It gives us freedom because we’re in God’s order!
What you said about “calling what men love to do sin when it’s not sin”… It’s seems like religion has tried to force men to become more weak and passive (the hippie portrayal of Jesus) instead of encouraging men to be warriors for Christ.
Drew,
Maybe I should have phrased it differently, but I wasn’t referring to men in a service being emotional. I was referring to men in the church (or body of believers) lacking manly character. I’m not saying men should be stone cold in church, but men that are passionate about God- that’s amazing! What I was referring too is some of the character traits of the average men I’m seeing in the body of believers today compared to character traits that I see in secular workplaces. I was wondering why there was a gap.
I haven’t given up hope though! I know that God is rising up a generation of men to lead the church, and I’m already starting to see it. What I’m looking for is men to take their rightful place in the body, because I believe if men are bold leaders for Christ who are discipling men than women will just naturally follow. Then we will multiply!
September 19th, 2008 at 4:02 am
hm, I see what you’re saying. The reasons could be many, most of which i think we already hit, but… are really irrelevant. Bottom line is you just gotta keep lookin if you want something good.
could you even Imagine how great it would be if more people weren’t so damn closed minded and brainwashed by society and understood that they would be so much happier if men acted like men and ladies acted like ladies?
Its no fun what challenges society has brought on us, I think we would agree. Yet it is a prime opportunity to be a MAN or a WOMAN on the subject(not a girly boy or an overly manly girl) and stand up for what is RIGHT. and maybe even influence someone else in the process.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
WOW!!! I LOVE THIS THREAD!! There is good stuff here, hey Lauren, Thanks for the cup check!! hahah. I think Drew and I should go around b slapping the feminine men. Then they would either leave or man up!!
September 24th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I feel modern society has removed our (pardon me) balls. Men in the first place used to be to overbearing and downright mean to women. They also almost always had something to fight for. After women rights movements we were no longer allowed to have that afflection. Men tried to keep control until the extremist feminism brigade came down on all men. Fighting for male rights was out of the question at the time also (they felt we had to many rights, but we did) Now men are confused. What happens if a man is to strong? He’s considered a sexist pig or a big brute (which commonly stereotypes him as the dumb jock type). Now if a man escapes that quality (or never had it) he is reffered to as a sissy or girly man. Ultimately i feel it happens to be a situation of partial facts being displayed. Men don’t know when they are to be strong or when they are to be gentle because society commonly reprimands them when they are being a little too much of either; it doesn’t teach them when the appropriate time is. I have always thought there should be a list of when to be strongs and when to be sensitives. Of coarse the Father figure idea brings a lot to the table. Father figures can be found in any male. Unfortuanately, many males are nowhere near qualified for the role, making them bad examples to an expanding mind. Some are far to strong and violent and those types you more than likely are not going to find hanging around with any congregation. The other side is way to passive and more than likely are the most common guys found at church because they are looking for ways to be strong. Neither of which are good role models for children. But the mediator is almost absent everytime. Usually the medium doesn’t exist in what i have seen. Just a handful among the bunch.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
We are working on this at LCC. I have seen some real exciting things but it really takes the power of JESUS.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Brett,
Ha ha! Whenever you need a verbal cup check I’m here. Wait…can we use “cup check” on here? Don’t get me kicked off the blog Brett! I don’t want to be blacklisted from a church blog, ya know? =)
Tarek,
I completely agree with you. Good insight!
September 26th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
September 28th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Me and Brett rebuke the spirit of the wuss in the men of the church in the Name of Jesus!
September 28th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
A woman doesn’t necessarily want to know a man will stand up FOR her, they usually know they will
(they might want the threshold at which a man actually takes action & how much they do to move durastically though)
A woman needs to know a man will stand up TO her, (her attitude, or testy demands, or opinions, etc) because if he can’t stand up TO her (authoritatively and confidently and peacefully not insecurely and arrogantly selfishly), how will he EVER be able to stand up FOR her?
A woman needs to know that a man can stand up TO her, because if he can’t stand up TO her, how will he ever have the balls to stand up FOR her?
Think about it.
November 5th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
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