This is a question sent in by Tiarah on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:
I’m sure this question has been asked before but I really want to know because I’m so confused…. I don’t want to ignore guys and despise them but I don’t want to seem all into them and lead them into lusting after me and I don’t want to lust after them. Where is the happy medium? And if I really like a guy how should I act around them? I’ve been so flirty all my life nothing less makes sense… Please help PA =)
My Answer:
Tiarah, you are too cute. Let me help you with a verse.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 1 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
Paul is helping his son in the ministry with how to treats other people. He tells him to treat younger women as sisters, with all purity. The thing I would encourage you to do is the same. You have a past of broken ungodly relationships and I know that you do not want to repeat that same cycle, that is why you are asking this question. First of all make sure the guy is a brother in Christ. Then instead of treating him in a way that is impure; treat him as a brother.
If He is a follower of Jesus he will treat you in a pure, Godly, “as a sister” relationship. Then it will sprout into a covenant from there. Trust God to knit your hearts together and do not try to make it happen yourself. Do not get me wrong I am not telling you to not show any interest but just be careful and guard your heart. Love you girl!
Any other advice from the readers?
Its all about the heart. and again, as always, living IN Jesus actively in those situations. If you truly are living IN Jesus and actively crosschecking your heart, I think its totally possible to be yourself, and have Jesus control the actions and words he knows you don't need to convey.
…..ok, reading over what I just wrote, the whole sister thing just sounds a whole lot easier and simpler though
Cuz you still pick on and make fun of your sister, right? (in ways we later in life would likely consider flirtatious) but there's no WAY your heart is in lust when you're doing that….unless you live in Kentucky, of course.
Also, for an honest example, I've learned from observing the interns. Not to suggest any of them at all are interested in each other, I'd have no idea anyway :/ But there's 5 guys and 6 girls all around the same age who are always laughing, having fun, and being themselves with each other and all single and pure.
Drew I love all my commenters. But yours are always so entertaining and fun to read. Good stuff! I wish you live here dude… I miss you!
"unless you live in Kentucky…." Drew, you crack me up!!!
He is crazy… I laughed so hard at that comment.
Haha, thanks. I miss you and even phoenix a little bit too man. But I can't fall into that attitude of wishing against God's will of having me here. I take confidence in knowing that when His work for me here is done, He'll move me elsewhere. so instead of wishing I could be elsewhere, I'm praying He'll allow me to do His work here wholeheartedly!
Drew… do not get all "holy" on me!!! LOL. I know where you are is where you are supposed to be!! Keep up the good work…
lol, thanks for the insight PA… and Drew. I kind of figured that was the answer. I'm kind of glad it is because that was the original direction I was headed… Just making sure I wasn't missing something. I just noticed how ungodly men take the way I treat them and misconscrew it into this little ball of junk where I look like a flirt and they look like pieces of meat…. or something.
And on another note to Drew.. I'm still watching the Peasant Princess sermons which is what sprouted this question. heh, thanks again PA
Bless you girl… stay focused. RUN as hard as you can after Jesus and then look around and see if there is guy running along side of you and if you think he is cute and cool and He loves you and wants to marry you then grab his hand and both of you keep on running after Jesus together. LOL. I am not sure if it is that simple but anywhoo you get my drift. Bless ya.
lol, I wish it was that simple but I think Drew has a great concept going for him, staying single through the 20s… I don't know if that's exactly what he is doing.. but I think focusing on Jesus take my attention away from men anyways, so staying single should be pretty simple. I hope anyways.. lol.
That's good pastor. I like that. You bring it into reality that its still always about Jesus. not all about Jesus until one gets what they want or gets married. It doesn't stop. The focus is always about Jesus.
Lol Tiarah I'm don't think i'm gonna be single that long. Contrary to the core of who I was 6 months ago, I even hope not. But I'll rely on The Lord to let me know and I know He will………but i wouldn't say its been simple so far lol. So don't be fooled, stay on your guard all the time. The Lord will make His voice CLEARLY known. Its when its unclear that we need to run to Jesus for confirmation and kill everything else in us.