This is a question sent in by hurting on the “Ask Aaron Anything” link:
what to do when your spouse has had an affair and contracted a std ? then denies it like i am some fool .i am in a mess.GOD told me not to marry her,i just had no self control at the time.
My Answer:
Brother this is heartbreaking. I cannot even begin to give you an answer on what you need to do. I hate to see when sin is having it’s way in your marriage. I can only tell you that you need to make every effort and give every moment to listening to the Holy Spirit. Let Him be your comforter, counselor, teacher, and strength. He is your Parakletos - a helper, aid, assistant to lead you to a deeper knowledge of the gospel truth, and give you divine strength needed to enable you.
The other thing is you need to surround yourself with brothers in Jesus who will be good friends and hold you up during this time and give you godly counsel that is rooted in grace and truth.
If I can do anything to help you during this time it is not going to be through this blog except to call all of my readers to pray for you and your wife. If I know you or can do anything to help feel free to e-mail me directly and I will do what I can to be of service and see your life and marriage come to full restoration.
I wish I could do more but this is where my blog cannot help. You need the Help of the Holy Spirit and the support of a church.
Brother, I don't know who you are but my heart goes out to you. I know God's redemptive power and I can tell you that you are not doomed- Jesus. Please if there is anything I can do to help you through this, call me @ 602.503.9173, I might have some experience in this department.
Praying for you brother….i encourage you to get connected with some godly men that can help u get through this and pray for you and with you. God bless
I am actually reminded of a similar story which hits close to home. The point is that he had no idea his wife was having an affair until he caught an STD. There is a serious lack of intimacy if your spouse cheats on you and you don’t know. The STD really shouldn’t be a factor, cheating is cheating and weather he decides to stay with her or not should not be determined by whether or not she gave him an STD. The bible says that a man should love his wife as Christ loved the church and we know that the church has strayed and continue to stray from the foundation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is a grand opportunity for him to show an exceptional level of grace to his wife. He married her now he must love her back into grace and forgiveness.
Bro, all I know is that every man in this church genuinely, authentically, and lovingly has an itching heart to do any and everything they can to serve you in any and every way possible. Be transparent and obedient first to God… but please don't deny and rebuke the amazing help, love, support, and service beyond what you'd expect that I know with all my heart would come by allowing some of the men in this church to serve you in this heartbreaking time in your life by being transparent with them, and not afraid to ask for help. We love you and want the absolute best for you as does Jesus.
Definately pray about it. I have a friend that cheated on his wife, no STD's came out of the relationship, but a child did. His wife eventually forgave him and they have a beautiful successful marraige. They eventually regained trust and they managed to salvage their marriage. I know every situation doesn't work out that way. I think it helps to hear of the good ones! I hope you got tested and treated and it was curable. Good luck in the future, whatever you decide.