I asked Dana to write down what God is showing Her. My wife is a huge blessing to my life and is constantly challenging me to glorify and reflect Jesus. Here is what she wrote:
Day three started for me rough. Not because I was so hungry or had the detox headache, but because I was fighting admitting that I was discouraged. This fast so far has been good. I’ve studied, prayed, cried, and journaled, however; I have struggled with feeling like I’m missing it. I had in my head this idea of what God was going to do with me during this fast. There was going to be some great move that totally changed my entire world in five short days! This morning I realized that wasn’t happening and we are already on the third day. According to my schedule I should be recovering from the initial spanking and on my way to life changing freedom!
Aaron and I got ready to pray and he asked what was wrong. I kept trying to say nothing (just because I didn’t want to admit-especially to Aaron-that I am discouraged in this fast), but finally I answered him and told him the truth. I knew as it came out of my mouth that I was wrong, but I couldn’t shake it. We started to pray, and through Aaron the Lord reminded me of what fasting is about. It caused me to repent and to find joy again in this fast. I’m not fasting for me. I’m fasting for Him. To bring Him honor with the death of my flesh. If that is the only reason for this fast, then I am grateful that I get to do it! The Lord has given me a tool to worship and honor Him with. A sacrifice that takes me out of my comfort zone and reminds me that He is my God! For this brief time I get the opportunity to dedicate all of my life, my mind, my will, my emotions and my body to Him. The truth is I am honored to do it. It is blessing me to do this fast. That is so humbling it hurts! I am wretched, prideful, selfish, and arrogant and yet He still chose me… and not only chose me, but gave me a way to bring Him honor with my body! My previously misused and incredibly dirty body has now become my venue to bring Him honor! My mind is blown and I am so overwhelmed! Thank you Jesus for giving me freedom from my sin and transgression so that I can honor my King! Why do you love me so much?!!
I am so convicted by this. This fast is to honor and glorify Jesus with my life, my mind, my will, my emotions, and with everything that is in me. Is that more than enough, or do I get frustrated if I am not getting something out of it? Lord, I pray that this whole thing would be all about you. Show us our hearts, break our selfishness and pride, and make us reflect you more.
Questions to meditate on…
(1) Why am I fasting?
(2) Would this fast be enough for you if He was pleased and glorified?
Wow, this is such a trip reading what God is showing you Dana because it's exactly what I have been experiencing in this fast. I had to completely shift my mindset on why I'm fasting and who I'm fasting for! I'm continually shown how prideful, selfish and fleshly I am which just shows me truly how good and gracious God is for loving me despite my many failures. I truly want this fast to be all about Jesus and nothing about me!
Kendra
amen kendra. All about Jesus
Oh Gees, I am experiencing something so similar. I realized that I have so much hope for "a plan" like Shawn will make money this way, or during this fast I figure out this thing, or i will fast this certain way…and I realized rather then placing my hope in a mighty God that saves, I consistently place my hope in A PLAN of attack. So for this fast I am throwing everything out the window except one thing….Christ. Because my plans are not working…my plan to fast this certain way, and my plans to really have this huge emotional break through, But one thing that is and always will work is throwing myself up on the alter and hoping in one thing…Jesus. That entry is so good Dana. You are so right. I am fasting for Him and nothing else!
wow, to hear others that are experiencing something so similar! I too have felt very discouraged this week and was really fighting my own control over what I felt that God was going to do in me this week rather than pressing in to what He in turn showed me that my selfishness and hold on controlling was so fleshly and not of Him, that He alone is the reason we are fasting this week, and that all else like Suzee says is being thrown out the window! as all have said before me, I am fasting for Him and nothing else!!